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Monday, January 27, 2003   Frances the Mule Speaks Out With the recent use of donkeys as walking bombs in Columbia and Israel, Frances the mule has stepped out of retirement to accept the charimanship of a new organisation, No On Donkeys Or Zebras Exploding (NODOZE). Speaking from his retirement home, the Mr. Ed Stud Farm in Boca, Frances issued the following statement: We stand today for equine safety, for equine freedom from fear! We call upon PETA, the Animal Rights Watch, the ALF and ELF to prominently denounce this unwarrented cruelty towards our four hooved brothers. We demand that the ALF and ELF immediately take all actions necessary to prevent and forestall future use of any equines as weapons of mass destruction." Speaking from Hollywood, Bob Hope stated "I used to love performing before the mules in World War II and Korea. They laughed at all my stuff." "Mules, donkeys and horses have a long history in warfare. In the Middle Ages, their diseased, bloated bodies were hurled by catapults over the walls of beseiged cities." Frances stated. "Well, no more. We'll carry your packs, your lard asses, pull your wagons. But we won't be your bombs. I call upon all my Arab and Latino brothers to resist, resist this infamy with every breath! No more Mr. Nice Donkey!" -- posted by Chuck at Monday, January 27, 2003 | E-mail | Permalink | Main | 0 comments